Bill's Hyperbolic Music Reviews #1: Gregg Bendian's Interzone- "Myriad"

In my last post, I promised that I would begin posting weekly (or, whatever denomination of time. It's all an illusion anyway, man) installments of Bill's Hyperbolic Music Reviews, a.k.a. "Bill rips off renowned Internet music critic Mark Prindle, badly", in which I would rip off renowned Internet music critic Mark Prindle, badly, as I reviewed whatever the hell album/cassingle/audio-only Laser Disc I felt like, and then gave it a percent grade. I didn't promise most of this, actually, but it's what I'm delivering. Just like a politician! Hahahaha, look at me! I'm a regular satire guy!

Anyway, onto the review.

This is one of the greatest jazz albums of all time. Now, that's a bold statement, one that I'm certain the band members themselves would vehemently disagree with me on, but this just wouldn't be a Bill's Hyperbolic Music Review without at least one ill-informed assertion, now would it? Anyway, here are the two reasons that I will use to support this proclamation.

1. Gregg Bendian plays vibraphone in a style very similar to

the one I used to use after school in the band hall to try

and piss off my fellow band students with.

B. Nels Cline is on it, and, as if his mere presence wasn't

enough, he also busts out my very favorite guitar solo

ever on the last track.

Now, my .7 readers (including me) are probably going to demand a little more explanation, so, as a precaution, here we go with that.

A. I'm not going to say that Gregg Bendian sat down, wrote

a bunch of intricately-phrased, odd-metered "heads" (as

the jazzers call 'em) and then just drew penises on the

rest of the charts. But one listen to any of those

offensively dissonant tone clusters he likes to

clomp around on, and you might start to wonder.

This is high praise, by the way.

2. Nels Cline is a god among men. He's made sure that

the same Wilco responsible for the band's two shittiest

albums to date is also a live tour de force thanks to his

guitar prowess, and also, even though he's like 54

or 80 or dead or something, he still likes dicking around

with banks of effects pedals worth the GDP of

Latvia, instead of just playing boringass, tepid-beer

rock like certain Wilco bandmates of his named Jeff

Tweedy. Also, his solo on "Tactics" literally gave me

an eargasm. Yes, I actually came through my

ears, and my headphones are ruined because of it,

but it was worth it.

Bottom line: This album features Gregg Bendian, Nels Cline, Alex Cline, and some shitty bass player who sucks because he's a bass player.

Grade: 97%